There is such a beautiful, descriptive word in the English language for people that just doesn’t show interest, they are “impassive”. The definition of Impassive: not feeling or showing emotion e.g. "his cold, impassive face". In my personal opinion that is the same as “just don’t care.”

I had a chat with a friend today that is really doing well in her business. Yet, I sensed a sadness as she was telling me of her success. As we (coaches) always do, I asked a lot of questions and stumbled upon a surprising answer to why she isn’t celebrating her success. Wait for it…. She was sad because her family doesn’t even notice how well she is doing for herself.

My first thought was maybe they are interested but not expressing it. She decided to do a little “research/test” of our own. She was going to post photos of her latest design (she designs and makes clothing) on Facebook and make it visible to ONLY her family (including nieces, etc.) and then determine how many of them “Like” or comment on the photos. The list consists of fifty members of her family. Only twenty of them liked the photos and only five commented (mostly a one-word comment). If that was a test the results would be: the like rate was 40% that “passed” the test and the comments a mere 10%. Now that IS indeed sad!

It is not sad because she didn’t get enough likes or comments (people are way too focussed on that!). It is sad that it was her FAMILY that responded so poorly. What is even worse is that her husband (who is very active on Facebook) didn’t like nor comment. When she told me about this ratio, she said she was going to do the same with her friends. The results were slightly higher, but not significant. Same amount of people, less than 10% difference in the overall result. Wow, now if that doesn’t prove how IMPASSIVE the people in this poor woman’s life are, then nothing will. She took it a bit further and wanted to ask the rest of the groups about their response but decided against it. By then she was too heartbroken about the reality of it all.

When I started my first website, I experienced the same behaviour from my friends and family. With the second, even worse. ONLY two of my own family members and a handful of my friends (and I invited them all, sent the link to them, everything) actually went through the effort to read and comment on my website. Give those people some Bells!

Now, we always have a choice (and it all starts with a decision as I said in another blog), we can let this get us down in the dumps OR we can shake our shoulders and carry on with what it is that we are doing. To me the most important lesson from this is that YOU don’t make the same mistake. Are your really interested in what your family and friends are doing? Are you supportive, cheering them all the way, really showing interest in what they are doing?

If not, put in an effort, we all need that little push from time to time. And we all certainly need to be acknowledged and appreciated. We should not be living in a world where Social media is the only interest we show in our friends and family. When last did you really TALKED to one of your family members? Or asked them about their lives and really LISTEN? Do you know what they are struggling with, what makes them sad or happy? Don’t live in your own world where YOU are the only one that matters. You would be amazed how much happier your life becomes once you focus more on other people and less on yourself. Remember, keep it real or don’t do it at all, because people notice the difference.

Coach note: Small businesses and entrepreneurs NEED their friends and family to help them make their businesses strive. Support your family and friends who are trying to make a living from their business. And buy local. Your community also need you.

If you think your family and friends with small businesses need a business coach, get in touch with me.

Antoinette Venter, ActionCOACH Business Coach
antoinetteventer.actioncoach.com | antoinetteventer@actioncoach.com